Loneliness

**Disclaimer: I wrote this from a very raw emotional state.  I know it doesn't flow well or say everything that could be said or impart any great wisdom.  That wasn't my point in writing.  I simply wanted to get my thoughts on paper (or screen, whatever).  To use this blog for the purpose I stated in my title; as A Place for Words.  That said, if you still wish to read it, be my guest.  Thank you.

Loneliness.  More likely than not we have all experienced this feeling at some point in our lives.  The feeling of being alone.  Of having no one there for you, be it physically or emotionally or any of the numberless ways it can be experienced.  It should be said that I am speaking specifically of being humanly alone here.  God, of course, is always there.  But sometimes even He feels far away, and that's when we reach out to those around us.

But what do you do if you have no one reach out to?

It's a strange feeling, believing that every single person you care about or want to be close with has no desire to know how you are.  It's not that they don't care about you at all.  It's that they never take the time to make you feel loved.  They're too busy, they talk but never listen, or they're just plain oblivious.  They never notice or know the ache inside.   

If there's one thing I've learned about loneliness, it's that it eats away at you.  The longer you go without having anyone there for you, the harder life becomes.  It's easy to give up hope.  Sometimes it gets so bad that you grasp at any straws you have with people, desperate to just have someone listen and understand.  But when you're truly alone, there's no one to hear.

I won't say that it eases with time, because that wouldn't be true.  But there are ways that you find to deal with it.  The busier you are, the easier it is to ignore the feeling.  You teach yourself to focus more on what makes you happy and less on how you are happy with other people.  You find new ways to have fun that involve only you and not those around you.  You learn to love life, your life, free from any connection to others.

Yet most importantly, you pray.  You pray hard.  Because God always there, even when you can't feel His Presence.  And because deep down inside you still have a tiny flicker of hope that one day He'll change things for you.  That one day, there will be someone who actually shows that they care.

That one day, you will no longer feel so humanly alone.