Loneliness

**Disclaimer: I wrote this from a very raw emotional state.  I know it doesn't flow well or say everything that could be said or impart any great wisdom.  That wasn't my point in writing.  I simply wanted to get my thoughts on paper (or screen, whatever).  To use this blog for the purpose I stated in my title; as A Place for Words.  That said, if you still wish to read it, be my guest.  Thank you.

Loneliness.  More likely than not we have all experienced this feeling at some point in our lives.  The feeling of being alone.  Of having no one there for you, be it physically or emotionally or any of the numberless ways it can be experienced.  It should be said that I am speaking specifically of being humanly alone here.  God, of course, is always there.  But sometimes even He feels far away, and that's when we reach out to those around us.

But what do you do if you have no one reach out to?

It's a strange feeling, believing that every single person you care about or want to be close with has no desire to know how you are.  It's not that they don't care about you at all.  It's that they never take the time to make you feel loved.  They're too busy, they talk but never listen, or they're just plain oblivious.  They never notice or know the ache inside.   

If there's one thing I've learned about loneliness, it's that it eats away at you.  The longer you go without having anyone there for you, the harder life becomes.  It's easy to give up hope.  Sometimes it gets so bad that you grasp at any straws you have with people, desperate to just have someone listen and understand.  But when you're truly alone, there's no one to hear.

I won't say that it eases with time, because that wouldn't be true.  But there are ways that you find to deal with it.  The busier you are, the easier it is to ignore the feeling.  You teach yourself to focus more on what makes you happy and less on how you are happy with other people.  You find new ways to have fun that involve only you and not those around you.  You learn to love life, your life, free from any connection to others.

Yet most importantly, you pray.  You pray hard.  Because God always there, even when you can't feel His Presence.  And because deep down inside you still have a tiny flicker of hope that one day He'll change things for you.  That one day, there will be someone who actually shows that they care.

That one day, you will no longer feel so humanly alone. 

  

Thoughts on Unconditional Love

"Love isn't something you have to deserve."

I found this line in a book I was just reading and it got me thinking . . . About a lot of things.  It's true, what it says.  Love isn't something that we have to deserve.  God is the ultimate example of that.  He loves us no matter what.  When I think about that . . . It's something that's really hard to fathom. But I think that's partly because I, and people in general, tend to forget that the opposite of this statement is also true . . . No one has to deserve our love. 

We live in a world where love is very much centered on what the other person can do for us.  What we can get out of our relationships with other people.  We're not supposed to love someone unless they love us back. But that's not the way God created us.  We are made in His image and likeness and that means we are meant to love as He does.  Unconditionally.  

That means loving people we don't even know.  Loving even the people who always hurt us.  Loving even the people who hate us.  Because in the end, they don't have to do anything to deserve our love.  Because love isn't someything you have to deserve.  It's something you have to give.  Freely.  Because that's what He does.  Because that's what He created us to do.  And our lives are meant to be spent doing as much as we can to become like Him.

So the next time you get the opportunity, try to show that love to others.  It doesn't have to be big or hard.  Give a random stranger in the grocery store a smile and "Have a good day."  Do a chore for someone in your family without being asked.  Or do your best to be charitable to someone who can't even stand the sight of you.  The details surrounding who you show it to or how you show it don't even matter.  What matters is that even though they may not deserve your love, you still give it to them.  And that you do it out of love for Him.

"I thirst."

Today, as I am hoping you all know, is Good Friday. It is the day on which Jesus died for our sins and ultimately fulfilled the redemption. For all Christians it should be a very important day, one that commemorates the very moment the promise made to man in the Garden of Eden was fulfilled. There is one book in particular I read today that gives some very interesting insight into the meanings of the last seven words Jesus spoke from the Cross. The one that particularly stuck with me reading it this time was the explanation for Christ's words "I thirst." There is so much more contained there then just a desire to drink . . . I thought I would share this with you today. 




". . . 'I thirst!' The sufferings of the Lord and his anguish could easily cause a natural thirst. But for Him this was not a time to complain of this thirst or to quench it; and therefore Jesus would not have spoken of it so near to its expiration, unless in order to give expression to a most exalted mystery. He was thirsting to see the captive children of Adam make use of the liberty, which He merited for them and offered to them, and which so many were abusing. He was athirst with the anxious desire that all should correspond with Him in the faith and love due to Him, that they profit by his merits and sufferings, accept his friendship and grace now acquired for them, and that they should not lose the eternal happiness which He was to leave as an inheritance to those that wished to merit and accept it. This was the thirst of our Savior and Master [ . . . ] But the perfidious Jews and the executioners, evidencing their unhappy hard-heartedness, fastened a sponge soaked in gall and vinegar to a reed and mockingly raised it to his mouth, in order that He might drink of it. Thus was fulfilled the prophecy of David: 'In my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink' (John 16, 28; Ps. 68, 22)." [Taken from The Mystical City of God by Mary of Agreda.]




I love how this explains that Jesus' thirst was not so much for physical drink as it was for the spiritual souls of men. It was a cry to us all saying, "Come! Take the fruits of My redemption! Use them to gain the eternal happiness that I have destined you to be a part of since the beginning of time! Do not squander such a precious gift!" In His infinite wisdom He knew, at that very moment, just how many would accept His grace . . . And how many would refuse. He saw all the souls He would save . . . And those He would not. And He mourned the souls that in their hardness of heart would refuse to follow Him in His teachings . . . 


Today was a day of anguish for our God when He saw all those that would not merit from His sacrifice. It was a day of joy, too, when He saw all the souls He would save, but the sorrow was also there. And knowing the infinite sadness (for the sadness of an infinite God can only be infinite) that Christ withstood on the Cross . . . I feel all the more strongly that as a Christian I must do more to show my love for Him. To live my life in accordance with His teachings, to become a better reflection of Him Who is infinite Love and Goodness . . . To not waste the fruits of His redemption. And I pray that He will grant me the grace to succeed in this endeavor . . . That one day I will be able to look back on my life and say with St. Paul, "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." (Gal. 2, 20)   

The "And" or "Or" Mentality

For those of you who don't know, I am Catholic. Over the course of this last school year, I have been reading a very good book series on how to explain and defend the faith to others. It's covered a lot of topics, but one of the most interesting things I came across recently was an explanation from a former Presbyterian minister on one of the fundamental differences in mentality between the beliefs of Catholics and the beliefs of other Christians. This is the difference of "and" or "or."  

What this man pointed out is that Christians tend to divide what Catholics unite. It's the Bible or tradition; faith or works; prayer to God or prayer to Mary and the saints; and all this just led me to think . . . Why? Why is it that most Christians insist on dividing these things? All are gifts of God and therefore complement each other, yet many people hold them as a dichotomy. I don't understand why Christians would always want to pit these things against each other. Christ commanded us to accept all of His teachings, but in so many cases people pick and choose when it comes to what they want to believe. Christ didn't teach that. He taught one Church, one Faith, one way to believe and no other. Yet so many people (yes, even Catholics) pick what they want to believe and only that. That's not being a true Christian . . . That's not living the life Jesus asked us to live.


As a Catholic, I believe in following the Bible and tradition; in practicing faith and works; in praying to God and Mary and the saints. I see no reason to divide these practices, all of which were taught by Christ. I am striving to live a life that is the most accurate I can see in following the teachings of Jesus; my conscience will not let me do otherwise. So as a Christian and Catholic I challenge all of you to think and let your conscience guide you when striving to follow the teachings of Christ. And tell me . . . Why do you believe what you believe?




Thank you for reading.




Material borrowed sometimes word for word from Beginning Apologetics 6. 

Thoughts on A Future Spouse

This has been something that's been on my mind the last few days . . . I have been thinking a lot on my future and of course that brought up the topic of marriage . . . These were some of the thoughts I had on what I want my future spouse to be and what I hope to be to him . . . I hope you enjoy. :)




I want to find the guy . . . Who's worthy of my heart . . . Who will deserve it and my body . . . Who will treat both with respect and tenderness, and protect them from any harm . . . And when I find the guy worthy of that . . . I want him alone to have them . . . I want to be able to give myself fully to him, unblemished, and be his alone . . . 


I am saving my heart and my body for the guy who will truly deserve them. Because when I find the guy who will truly love me, there will be nothing holding me back from giving him all of me. He will claim my heart and when the time is right, my body, and they will never belong to another. God has created one man, one soul, that is worthy of me and I plan to reward his love, the love of my future husband, with everything that I have to give; body, mind, and soul. God has created one soul with the express intent of being my aid to heaven, and me, to be his aid. I do not intend to take that lightly. I am saving all of me for that most worthy of men. ♥

Welcome

Okay, so, I'm finally doing this! Starting my own blog. :) Doubt I'll do much on it, but I guess we'll see. As the title and description say it'll be a place for me to say things that I feel I should be said, not just random posts about my day, etc. Maybe I'll start another one for that . . . :P Anyway, I hope you enjoy! :) I'll hopefully have another post up that I've been thinking of doing for awhile by the end of the week.